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Single Sign-On help needed - contact creation

We've implemented SSO using the PHP toolkit .. we have an existing website where "contacts" have their own username (email address) and password.  
Now that we have SSO set up and working in an iFrame on our site, our web admin tells us that all contacts have to be created via our existing site which will then create the contact in SF and grab the password for a specific contact's portal .. this is causing us problems for a few reasons:
1. We already have the SFA module of SF and are now just implementing Service and Support so a lot of the contacts already exist.
2. In our overall process, there may be occasions where contacts are or need to be set up directly in SF, e.g., if an account is at lead or opportunity stage, we offer them support so the support contacts would have been put in already by Sales but wouldn't be using the portal yet in our current process.
2b - if a critical call comes into support, the call needs to be logged straight away even if the contact doesn't already exist in SF.  The group that provisions customers is not the same group that takes cases so we can't ask a critical issue customer to wait while they're provisioned.  
At the moment all we can think of is letting support and/or sales set up the contact then going in and deleting it once we get the workflow alert to provision the contact.
Has anyone got an idea how we can get around this?